Ramblings

[camillanightshade]

I just wish that some stuff could get fixed with the authoritues so I would get right income those days I dont work, the little i get now is hard to survive on. I told The Gods about it, I have done what I can, I wonder if I will ever get the money. I wish She could help me I have asked, but everything takes such a long time that I feel like going insane. I know it has nothing to do with my daily devotions. It is just hard to smile, be happy to be with the gods when I cant stop feeling that They with Their powers could fix it in a second. I know it isnt their responsibility to fix these financial stuff or get me a steady job. I know, I know it doesnt work like that but it sucks. In my eyes it isnt strange at all that I sometimes skip such I have promised to do, after struggling much, seeing no light, no end of it. Not getting the money I need makes me less willing, less devoted. I try to avoid it. As well as thinking They could help me more, it has taken so long time. It is just so frustrating, but since this is an phase i go through every now and then, I probably should learn from. Most likely not what my tired frustrated mind tells me now. I will go too sleep soon, working tomorrow again.