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I have read the twillight and fire blog on wordpress I think it was. It is about a girl who worships Loki. It describes a Loki in a different way than I have read before. It does feel very truthful. I admitt i have never read much about Loki cause I havent been that interested and feared i would read something scary. I mean I know who he is, and what he isnt, that is enough. I am more interested then in reading other peoples experiences about him. In one of her post she write that she is a pagan nun and that he is her spouse, her love.
Being a pagan nun is something that interests me in a way. Since last I have thought about being a nun, but didnt know of any other then the christian and buddist ones. I have also seen images from my mind as that. Although she/me was very unhappy. But I have been unable to get it out of my mind, and I must shamefully admitt I even have thought about becoming a christian nun as positive- a way to escape my path, the gods who seem to think it is so important to go through every pain, suffer, having this misery. At first it was just an thought an forbidden fantasy where I wouldnt be doing anything but being happy. I know it is silly. The reality isnt like that. A friend of mine babysister claimed to called to be a nun, I discovered more about it then I thought about it were I called in the past? I wasnt right? and the fears and thoughts about it wouldnt leave me alone. I spoke a bit about it with The Goddesses and draw some tarotcards I got confirmed that I belonged to Them, I knew that. Starting the second year of my training as avalonpriestess at samhain.
When I spoke too J, I asked about the call of being a nun, was I called, had I been called by him etc. I havent talked about it with him for many years cause I feared the answer, I only had some fears in my mind. J´s answer was that there are many different paths, one can be devoted to the gods in different ways. And no you are needed in the world, many people need your light and friendship. After that I read about pagan nun, priestess. I said many times before that If there was a convent or some temple for people being priestesses of the Goddess I would move there right away. Another friend who is a priestess of avalon said we could be whatever we wanted incluing a pagan nun devoted to Her. I do see The Goddesses as my love, my life. But I feel I need to be stronger more independent, to be a better follower of the Goddess. I would be more secure, healthier and confident I am working toward to become.
I wonder if it would feel better that I am without a husband and kids if I was a nun. Not that I really want that. I mean I yearn for love, but those I meet are nothing for me, i havent met anyone that have been interested in me romanticallly. I love my freedom, only belonging to The Goddesses and Lugh. Not sure about the other Gods if I belong to them, hopefully I will just be working with them for awhile.
I feel better now that I have written much, got much out of my mind. It shouldnt make me sick stay home from work but I needed this time to rest, to write think, to feel ready for the new year that is soon approaching. Samhain is coming. If I am called to be a nun to someone would I be able to handle that? What would it mean for me. Well The Morrigan is allowing much and gives me much freedom but I know I am not allowed to have any stronger god then Her or become J´s nun. I dont have any plans in that area either. It is possible Lugh or Thor or Loki wants that. I prefere any of Them over Cernunnus or Odin. It is silly to be guessing like this, time will tell if anyone wants me, It is possible they are all here causae they can help me and I have some skills that they wanna work with me cause off that.
Being a pagan nun is something that interests me in a way. Since last I have thought about being a nun, but didnt know of any other then the christian and buddist ones. I have also seen images from my mind as that. Although she/me was very unhappy. But I have been unable to get it out of my mind, and I must shamefully admitt I even have thought about becoming a christian nun as positive- a way to escape my path, the gods who seem to think it is so important to go through every pain, suffer, having this misery. At first it was just an thought an forbidden fantasy where I wouldnt be doing anything but being happy. I know it is silly. The reality isnt like that. A friend of mine babysister claimed to called to be a nun, I discovered more about it then I thought about it were I called in the past? I wasnt right? and the fears and thoughts about it wouldnt leave me alone. I spoke a bit about it with The Goddesses and draw some tarotcards I got confirmed that I belonged to Them, I knew that. Starting the second year of my training as avalonpriestess at samhain.
When I spoke too J, I asked about the call of being a nun, was I called, had I been called by him etc. I havent talked about it with him for many years cause I feared the answer, I only had some fears in my mind. J´s answer was that there are many different paths, one can be devoted to the gods in different ways. And no you are needed in the world, many people need your light and friendship. After that I read about pagan nun, priestess. I said many times before that If there was a convent or some temple for people being priestesses of the Goddess I would move there right away. Another friend who is a priestess of avalon said we could be whatever we wanted incluing a pagan nun devoted to Her. I do see The Goddesses as my love, my life. But I feel I need to be stronger more independent, to be a better follower of the Goddess. I would be more secure, healthier and confident I am working toward to become.
I wonder if it would feel better that I am without a husband and kids if I was a nun. Not that I really want that. I mean I yearn for love, but those I meet are nothing for me, i havent met anyone that have been interested in me romanticallly. I love my freedom, only belonging to The Goddesses and Lugh. Not sure about the other Gods if I belong to them, hopefully I will just be working with them for awhile.
I feel better now that I have written much, got much out of my mind. It shouldnt make me sick stay home from work but I needed this time to rest, to write think, to feel ready for the new year that is soon approaching. Samhain is coming. If I am called to be a nun to someone would I be able to handle that? What would it mean for me. Well The Morrigan is allowing much and gives me much freedom but I know I am not allowed to have any stronger god then Her or become J´s nun. I dont have any plans in that area either. It is possible Lugh or Thor or Loki wants that. I prefere any of Them over Cernunnus or Odin. It is silly to be guessing like this, time will tell if anyone wants me, It is possible they are all here causae they can help me and I have some skills that they wanna work with me cause off that.
