More visions and spiritual experienses

The dream from my last blog, it was Loki who were playing with me. Another god told me that and i double checked it with The Morrigan and my tarotdecksIt made me angry I dont like to be played on like this so I went straight to Loki and told what I felt about his actions, I also punched, Loki was amused, come on and catch me then my fangirl, my slave, you are basically only a serf for me and other gods to use as we wish, no one really cares about you... I was furious, how dare he... so I attacked him, but he run away, so attcked again, again and until he let me catch him, he really triggered me with his laughter. Then I left. I refused to speak to Loki for weeks. I ignored him totally. It was hard time cause I couldnt hear my goddesses, so my fears ánd anxiety tormented me. At the end of september on Archangel Michaels day I was with him and Lugh, Thor joined as later. As many times before being with Michael made it clearer; I realized Loki had just played on my fears, said what I feared deep within, it wasnt neccessarrily any evil intentions from Loki. I know he would never lie to me so I accepted his words. I was so happy that he came to me, cleared things up. Lets do a little travel he said, I was like yeah it was always a great blessng in the past when he ask me to do a travel with him. I felt honored.

We came to a large valley there was a few gods, We came closer it Loki and Thor. My first thought was betrayed, but then i realized michael always did what needed to be done not what i wanted. It was nice to see Loki, I fell for his charming smile, we wrestled for a while. Loki said he wanted to take me some where, i looked at Thor and Michael, Thor said we will be around you are with us. So I went on with Loki the world got darker, he was walking very fast i had to run to catch up, it was hard to see and I was lost. Someone was crying, the sound got louder. A young girl was crying, she wasnt much more then a child. She was tired, not able to walk. I wasnt up for this, she was annoying I had no patience for her I swore silentlybut I cant leave someone so young alone I though I said as kindly as I could she could ride on my back.

I came to a cottage, the girl was gone. An old Lady greeted me. It was Hella. Her face and body was as scary I remember it, with the half dead part. She greeted me. Invited me in, i followed. I calmed myself. I appologized for my absence. Hella looked at me. No need to lie, child. At once I was terrifyed. I wanted to scream for help perhaps Thor or Michael, or Morrigan would hear me. I am the annoying young girl you met. I was ashamed that I have thought like that. I felt nervous how would I get away from here. We talked for a while about my fears. I appologized a bit more, which wasnt neccessarry It felt better after talking to Hella, then I came back to my own reality.

Have no idea if there is some purpose of what we have. He comes sometimes, we talk play a little. I do feel more rough, strong with him and other gods I m not afraid too loose contacts with. Some gods there are other reasons why I am more submessive. Cernunnus came week after, we spoke a bit. It went well.