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Pontus, my old friend, companion and sweetest little kitty died today. He has been getting more and more sick. i have done healing rituals, spells to heal him. We have been to the vet as well of course. Pontus has recovered, become his old playful, happy self. But this year he has been more tired, sleeping much more then earlier. Since april this month he has been more often sick, we knew the end would be coming soon, but didnt wanna think about it that his time had come. I absolutely didnt wanna think about the a few of The Goddesses I follow are Lady of Death as well among other things. I have always dreaded the day my beloved kitty would be taken away from me. Since april this year he has been more often sick, this last week, he has been very anxious, restless cause of pain and unable to rest, sleep cause of that. We talked about it over and over (we- my mum, my sister and me) about if we should do anything, was it time? Or would he recover, become better. Pontus looked so sad, it was painful to see him like this. It was like he had given up, he knew the end was near. I saw a raven near him yesterday. When said goodbye he made a strange sound like he wanted to follow with me or Her. My tears fell. I held him for a while thought it may be the last time. He was in pain. I was unable to do anything last night. I was crying a bit more. Slept badly. Was he dead now? My phone didnt work cause I missed paying a bill. So i took my bike, and biked to my mum. Pontus was in bad shape, he hadnt been eating or sleeping for serveral days. He was in pain. My mum went to get the catcarrier.I petted Pontus, told him, all would be well. His suffering would soon be over. It was like he knew that it was soon over, i went straight in to the cat carrier, lay down ready to leave. last night it was like he said farewell to all of us. We had hoped he would have just fallen asleep then to never wake up, someone taking the decision away from us. But we think that it would have happened soon anyway but didnt want him to suffer anymore
We took a cab to the animal hospital. The vet looked at Pontus, listened to his heart, touched his body, it was painful for him. The inner organs was damaged, nothing to do. They took us to a room with soft light, lit candles, a few flowers. The vet gave Pontus an overdoze of sleeping pills. He fell a sleep slowly in my mums lap. I petted him as well. We both cried. It took a while until he took his last breath. I followed my mum home, she was devastated so was I. We spoken about our memories or joys with this little guy, who we would never see or touch again.
I look around, I expect to see him, hear him. But it is no one here. I would do anything, I would give anything to have him alive and well. I understand it doesnt work like that. The Morrigan is the one I have seen much these days. I have begged Her as alwatys to heal him, let me keep just a few more months... but it was too late this time he was too sick. I really dont want him to suffer be in pain so that I have someone to cuddle with. I am not that selfish, I only wants whats best for him, my baby. It is hard to think, imagine a life without him. He was so much more then just a pet, he was a familymember, my friend, my baby. Our joy, he always did so much mischief that made us all smile. He had his own ways of getting attention all the time. It is hard that I wont be petting him, hugging him anymore. It is hard to understand that he is really gone, that it isnt a nightmare. He will always be alive and well in our hearts. The only thing that makes me go on, is that my beloved Pontus arent in pain, he doesnt suffer anymore. He is running, playing on the eternal green fields, the summerlands.
I have always had trouble with death, gods of death. Cause I feared they may enjoy taking lives, I have feared they wouldnt be respectful to dead dying animals- the animals are often seen of lower worth atleast by humans. I feared I would hear laughter, mocking, disrespectfulness both towards the dying ones, the dead one and the grieving ones. Or what if they would be feasting on my dead friends corpse. What else can be expected by gods who likes animal offerings gods of death... I am happy that it was no truth in it. Seeing Pontus struggle, his suffering made me think, it was better for him to die, no one could make him well again. It was hard to let go, but I had to, cause it would be heartless of me to make him continue to suffer cause we wanted him alive. It is sad that we have no garden to bury him in, then we could have a stone there. He is being cremated and spread over a hill, an animal graveyard outside Malmo.
We took a cab to the animal hospital. The vet looked at Pontus, listened to his heart, touched his body, it was painful for him. The inner organs was damaged, nothing to do. They took us to a room with soft light, lit candles, a few flowers. The vet gave Pontus an overdoze of sleeping pills. He fell a sleep slowly in my mums lap. I petted him as well. We both cried. It took a while until he took his last breath. I followed my mum home, she was devastated so was I. We spoken about our memories or joys with this little guy, who we would never see or touch again.
I look around, I expect to see him, hear him. But it is no one here. I would do anything, I would give anything to have him alive and well. I understand it doesnt work like that. The Morrigan is the one I have seen much these days. I have begged Her as alwatys to heal him, let me keep just a few more months... but it was too late this time he was too sick. I really dont want him to suffer be in pain so that I have someone to cuddle with. I am not that selfish, I only wants whats best for him, my baby. It is hard to think, imagine a life without him. He was so much more then just a pet, he was a familymember, my friend, my baby. Our joy, he always did so much mischief that made us all smile. He had his own ways of getting attention all the time. It is hard that I wont be petting him, hugging him anymore. It is hard to understand that he is really gone, that it isnt a nightmare. He will always be alive and well in our hearts. The only thing that makes me go on, is that my beloved Pontus arent in pain, he doesnt suffer anymore. He is running, playing on the eternal green fields, the summerlands.
I have always had trouble with death, gods of death. Cause I feared they may enjoy taking lives, I have feared they wouldnt be respectful to dead dying animals- the animals are often seen of lower worth atleast by humans. I feared I would hear laughter, mocking, disrespectfulness both towards the dying ones, the dead one and the grieving ones. Or what if they would be feasting on my dead friends corpse. What else can be expected by gods who likes animal offerings gods of death... I am happy that it was no truth in it. Seeing Pontus struggle, his suffering made me think, it was better for him to die, no one could make him well again. It was hard to let go, but I had to, cause it would be heartless of me to make him continue to suffer cause we wanted him alive. It is sad that we have no garden to bury him in, then we could have a stone there. He is being cremated and spread over a hill, an animal graveyard outside Malmo.
