Standing my ground and christmas

[camillanightshade]

I have talked to the union cause my employer wont give me overtime money. The guy was going on vacation, so I will get back to him after new year when he is back. I have also talked to the agency about my employer being mean- saying mean stuff, making me pay if I accidently destroy some stuff. The agency couldnt reach him, cause he left early he usually does that cause I am there. So really he should be kind to me after all me being there gives him a lot of free time. The agency guy will call really early today so I will get bashed by my boss after that most likely- how can be so unloyal and talked to them etc, after all he has done for me. He seems to think he is doing me great favor of letting me be there. I work very hard there, I can take that but will not accept any harrassment or any demands of payment for mistakes. Then he better fire me, I ´doubt he will do that.

I was humilated at work at friday. We all should buy a gift for 7 dollars. Then draw a note which said which gift we get. The girls that are selling the stuff at the bakery arranged it all. They also decided which gift we would get. I and and the other bakers came out draw a note and a gift. Some of the girls ot my gift a box of chocolate. She got very happy when I opened my gift it was a dishbrush with a statue of an ugly fish with a dishrug and dish fungi. The girls laughed mockingly and said that gift suited me perfectly cause that is all that I am. A lousy person who do the dishes and clean.The more the laughed and mocked me the more I felt humiliated and embarressed. I felt so upset. It was hard for me to be working, atleast I felt some compassion from the other bakers. Not that anyone defended me though. But if that is what they think of me as just a dishwasher, a cleaner- something lousy fine it says more about them then about me. I confronted the worst one of the girls before I got home and she claimed it was just a joke and had no understanding that it was humiliating for me, that I was hurt by their laughter and mocking- well bullies and those with a bit of bullying personality never do. That is fine, i will never trust them or do anything to help them that doesnt involve work. And most of all I wont spend any of my precious time talking to them, what a waiste.

At first I thought of call in sick this week, just stay home take care of myself, paint and draw. Then I calculated out how much i would loose it is the same amount of money for this week as for the airplane tickect is from copenhagen to Dublin in Ireland and from Dublin to London which is about 250 dollars so it is quite much money that I loose for a week. And why would I give them at the work the satisfaction that they have broken me. I will not give them that gift. Besides I wanna have all money I can earn, I have exchanged money to 500 punds for when I come to London first with my mum in the beginning of may- the trip that never happened last year  and for coming Glastonbury after I have been at Ireland a few days. I will exchange money to euro for Ireland as well next month. I will be going next year. I will save money and not buy any more jewellerys or fairy statues until I get there. Cause it will be great to be able to shop in the cool witchstores both in Dublin and in Glastonbury. I so yearn for traveling again. If I could I would move to Glastonbury, Uk or Ieland. The money i have and will be saving will not be enough for Canada, I need to save more for that. I do wanna come there one day. In a few years perhaps, I have no idea about how my future will be and soon the government will take more of my money to pay of my debts, but until that all I earn is mine. I hope it will take a long before they will take my money. I know that the longer it takes the more I will have to pay later, but I so wanna travel that is more important for me then some debts, which the governments couldnt care less about. They dont even care about why i have gotten these debts either, they are only interested in that i pay the debts, it is the same for everyone, no one gets away. Boring reality.

My christmas celebration was nice, just a bit too much eating and too much talking, lol, and that is not as restful that ´some people think. For me to rest, recover I need to be alone, just do my stuff. It is nice to be with my family laugh and have a good time, But it can be a bit too much if I am very tired and stressed out cause it takes energy to be social too. And they talk constantly which can be nice for awhile but then I need to be alone something they can have trouble understanding. cause they are very social. I got many nice stuff. I feel better after the reading I got.

Comments

[jensurvivor]

I'm glad you were able to confront your coworkers and report your boss. Please stay on top of that and don't be discouraged by folks being on vacation. I think you really have a case here. It also seems like everyone where you live seems to be cruel, in an unusual way. I think it would be better for you to find work in Glastonbury.

[jensurvivor]

furthermore, how dare they use the image of fungi as an insult? Without fungi they and the human race would have become extinct millions of years ago. It just goes to show a cultural fear of death, as a necessary part of life.

[jensurvivor]

I had one friend explain that introverts gain energy from being alone while extroverts gain energy from being around other people. I'm pretty much an introvert myself.

[camillanightshade]

Thanks for your kind words and support as always. I will stand my ground at work. Yeah it is a bit weird that I tend to get together with peoople who arent nice. Which triggers memories of bullying, being a victim. i heard recently that I need to do deal with to with this without escaping. To become free I need stand up for myself and fight for my rights, and this situation would repeat until I have learned to have balance between work, art, spirituality, social life.

I didnt hear it in so many words, it was more that I realized that pattern repeated and got a bit worser at times. So i did some reading a couple of times, use serveral of oracle cards, meditated on it. I have heard a few words every now and then to confirm it. I think there is some truth in it, it seems like my life is like that. I dont like the feeling of that it will never be better. But that is just what I am feeling. It doesnt need to be a truth. I will check it out next week while I am channeling at the 6th jan. Get more information about it. What I need to learn so that this wont be repeated again.

At the work the both sales girls claims they had no idea that I would take it so bad, that I would be so upset. People who like to mock others arent so brave when they are being confronted especially when they realize it has consequences for them. That I am less interested in talking to them after last week.

[jensurvivor]

It is very important to recognize repeating patterns. Sometimes factors might be out of your control (I think folks trapped in lower-income jobs might be more likely to have issues of their own that they are dealing with, and not in healthy ways) but sometimes factors can be in your control, though it might take a long time to see it.

This is just what I have heard. I've managed to get out of bad situations in my life but I have no idea how I did it.

Hopefully those girls at work will be less likely to repeat such a stunt after learning that it's not all fun and games for them either.

[camillanightshade]

That is good that you managed to get out of those bad situations. I think you are right in that many people in lowincome jobs seem to be having issues and not dealing with it well. I dont speak much to the girls, since they work mostly alone they suffer more of it then I, i have Kevin one of the bakers I work with almost every day. Perhaps one day they may understand that such jokes arent fun but hurtful. I dont need them. I feel that I need to get away from this negative pattern-resolve it, i will try to focus on that.

[camillanightshade]

Yeah without the fungis there wouldnt be any lifeforms on earth at all. Although the dishfungi is a soft fabric that is used to the dishes and cleaning with. It is so true that introvert gains energy from being alone, that is why I dont suffer of being alone, like some people do. To me alonetime is neccessarry.

It would be great if I could move away to a nicer place get a job in a more friendly enviroment. Perhaps one day it will be possible.