(no subject)

[camillanightshade]

I have been having much suicidal thoughts this week, had trouble to do anything but working, exercising a bit the past weeks. That is depressing, I have much anger, frustration as well as sadness, despair within me, I am working on venting it with my writing.I havent done it at all for a while, been too exhausted and busy. I am also working on my website. www.priestessofthegoddess.n.nu I will focus more on my wild life wild cats painting set an deadline and following it through. With working fulltime and working on my art.it doesnt leave much time for volontaire work, not that any of the groups here are right for me. Cause I wanna save the rainforests and save the endangered animals protect all animals. I dont have much energy, so I need to focus and prioritize better with my time. I feel that I am of better use working on my art, being active online, donating money when i can to my causes. I probably should discuss it with the gods before making such decision. I havent been active since before I went on my trip this spring. It was always such a bad energys around some of these people especially in the group place meetings. Much bitterness and  anger I suppose, after awhile it felt the energy made me sick and I felt very much aloof very different from the others.

Comments

[jensurvivor]

Environmental groups often have the problem of being burnt out and stressed, it's a work that can take a heavy toll. I've found that different groups can have very different energies, and don't waste much time with ones that are not positive.

I am worried about you. I don't think it's good for you to be working full time. Are you still seeing a therapist? Would it help if I called you?

[camillanightshade]

Thanks, you are always welcome to call me, that would be nice. I have tried to cut down the work by talking to my boss and a doctor. But they didnt care, may not see it as something important. I should try again with another doctor. I am still seeing my theraphyst but she cant help me with cutting down on the work. She thinks it will get better when I stand up for myself and release the anger and despair. I think so too, but it would be nice and better for me to work less like 4 days a week, or just 6 hours a day. I have always felt that fulltime is too much and 30-32 hours a week ismuch better. cause then I feel i have a life get more stuff down feel better cause of that.

[jensurvivor]

I'm glad you're able to help yourself with writing and creative endeavours. I hope it will get better for you soon.

[camillanightshade]

Thanks me too, I just need to do it more regulary as well.

[jensurvivor]

I haven't seen the website in a while. I like the layout very much. Would you like some feedback on the content?

[camillanightshade]

Thanks, I am glad you liked it. Sure some feedback would be nice, but the website is far from ready.