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camillanightshadeI arrived to Glastonbury around 5pm on the monday16th. I checked in to the Crown Glastonbury Backpackers then I went to see the stores. It is serveral of witch stores there, a yoga store, serveral of chrystal stores. I didnt get to all of them the same day since serveral of them where closed before I ´got there. I went to them the day after. My roomate was a older lady from Australia that where very fascinated about stones, a nice but a bit obsessive person. She suggested that we do some chrystalhealing. I was like okay, since I was glad to have someone to talk to. During the chrystalhealing I got in trance and talked about my pastlifes. She gave her opions about it and I gave mines about her life and her issues. For some reason karmic debt and avenge magic-cursing came up. It felt a bit surreal. But okay so far.
The next day went to more stores, there where so much beautiful statues, altar stuff, chrystal, so many cool books, clothes and cds. I so wished I had more money to buy stuff. I only bought a key chain with a pentagram and the text Goddesss blessings, a cup with a pentagram some leaves with the text i walk with The Goddess, two beautiful candleholders with pentagrams and leaves on it. After that i went to a store bought red roses that i put on The Goddesses altar in the Goddess temple as an offering. The temple was very beautiful, I loved it, and those priestess of Avalon that where there, where really nice. I bought some cards of the Goddesses a few poetry books that where very nice, a little bag of herbs that I could sprinkle around use as offerings. For some reason I had been so tensed and nervous that I wouldnt be accepted, that I would be cast out, be seen as unwelcome. It was all in vain of course. I had a terrible fight with a former friend that is a priestess of Avalon, but that was serveral years ago. It was absolutely no reason to see it that I would be unwelcome cause of that. I was just paranoid. My paranoya has been in the way for me many times but one doesnt realize until one has faced the fears, confronted the frears and paranoya. It was wonderful to pray and meditate there. After been there I went on for a long walk- a Goddess pilgrimage to The Lady of avalon, The Goddess, to sense the energies of Avalon, and nature. I walked the tour that went over the chalice hill and the Tor, said prayers at places of the route and meditated. At the end of the tour I went to the Chalice well, saw the white and red spring. it was very beautiful. I meditated and prayed, drank some water of the holy wells. I heard Morgana Le Fay talk to me then The Morrigan. I was reminded of some stuff, got some suggestions of stuff to do, thoughts of stuff got cleared up. That was awesome. I was so happy and a bit euphoric. I felt that I connected to the Earth Mother, Nature herself as well, that was awesome. Then I went back to the backpackers, my rooomate Linda talked about her ideas about stuff, life. I was so high that I gladly spoke about everything, she mentioned some stuff that freaked me out so I prayed to The Morrigan for protection and guidance, just incase if i may need it, it never hurts to have Her nearby.
On the wednesday i took two Goddess pilgrimages when I woke up, first the Morgen Mendering and Ariadnes labyrinth. That was a though one cause I had to walk very very much, and I got bit lost cause I looked wrong on the map. It was nice to connect to the Morgens and talk to Morgana Le Fay again and Arianrhod. I felt The Morrigans presence as well as Rhiannons although they where silent the first hours. It was a hard and long walk especial the Tor labryinth walk where I was walking around the Tor in circles. At times I was so tired, that I almost collapsed, but The Ladies encouraged me to go more and more, I really wanted to do it, so I did my best. Cause i wanted to get as much out of my trip as possible. When I was too tired I went on the main road, steps up to Tor, The Goddesses where okay with that. I think the important thing was that I did as much as I could, and went beyond my limits. I had much visions. Finally up at Tor I rested for a while, meditated a long time then I walked out of the labryinth I wasnt able to walk around the Tor the hill, but used the main road instead, my legs nearly broke, they refused to obey me, It felt like i fell apart. But kept walking and rested alot. Exhausted I came back and went straight to the Goddess temple. there I continued praying meditating most of all just resting. I felt so safe, so loved and cared for by the Goddesses. It felt like They though i had done well by walking as much as I did, done these three pilgrimages withing 24 hours. Just sit there pray meditate was soothing. Then I went back to the backpackers to rest. Linda came and wanted us to continue what we had done so far with the chrystals, healing talked and she some strange ideas that made me very uncomfortable. I wasnt up for it, I was too tired, I wanted to draw instead but she kept insisting. It was alright in the beginning but it felt very akward doing it, Even though I understood the intentions with it, I just didnt wanna continue after a few hours, she tried to make me do it anyway but after a while I just completely refused. It was very offending and annoying to hear that my faith was wrong, that it was dangerous to worship gods the way I did solitary etc. She went on and on about that, as well as about karma stuff, how much bad karma i had left. I was too exhausted to defend myself properply, so I just begged The Ladies to help me shield me, at some point I even got scared of Linda, what kind of a person was this? What did I know about her? Why did I tell her so much personal stuff? Could she harm me? Or was this just paranoya? Or did the Goddesses try to warn me? So many thoughts and questions but no answers. I was so exhausted, was happy when Linda left me alone.
The next day I was very drained and very panicy. I avoided Linda a bit, said that I couldnt handle talking more about karma and the other stuff. She just kept on talking about it anyway. That was very triggering so I prayed the Goddess rosary, to keep my mind focused and myself as calm as possible. I gave her back the stuff she had given me- some cheap coulorpens and a bag to have them with. It was like I didnt want anything from her, like I couldnt stand her. I got a feeling she may trace my energies, do something to me if I had stuff that was from her, by that not that it made any sense. Later on I went to the Goddess temple, I prayed much, shivered of fear and panic. I almost cried infront of the altar, it was like I didnt wanna leave the temple, not just that it was my last day there but that I was safe from Linda there. if she tried to do something shouldnt be able to get me there, My fears where very bad. I think it may just have been paranoid about Linda and I was too exhausted to see clear, cause it was a bit of an ordeal to do that much walking with The Goddess, pray, leave stuff behind, emotional and mental issues7stuff that no longer serves me. To sense the energies be changed, transformed. But that was okay cause I choose it, it was my goal all along to take these walks be changed, transformed healed there. It felt better to stay away from Linda. So I didnt asked for her emailaddress and she didnt ask for mine. I think she understood that she went too far, that things got out of our hands. it is possible she thinks she was helping me, so I thanked for that,(not that I think she helped me, I was more concerned that she may had damaged me but my protections shields was very strong, I just wanted to be polite, and it is possible that she tried to help me, and thought she did but just expressed herself in a way that I hard time handling, well who wouldnt feel offensive about what she said or did). I tried to explain her my point of view but she refused to get it. Well that is her problem. I think she has severe problems and would need a theraphyst. I shouldnt have agreed to work with chrystals talk about kamic stuff and personal stuff with a complete stranger, even if she did the same. Either way she cant harm me even if she was real psycic vampire or something, I am protected, I had a great time with The Goddesses, the walkings, and in the temple. I wont let an ignorant pushy person destroy my trip, my faith in the Ladies cant be destroyed. Cause what I feel, and experience is important to me,, then if it is bullshit to her, it is her opinion,not a truth of life. I do what is right for me. I just wish I had the strength to walk more, wasnt stopped by anything physical, mental limits. I hope I will be able to go there soon again.
I left around 5 pm to bristol, to take the train back to london. Late in the evening i checked in on Piccadilly backpackers in London, The next day friday I flew home. I got stopped in Gatwick airport they refused to let me take water from the chalice well with me. So I had to drink it there. I am happy that I didnt take a big bottle of the water with me. The flight went well, I bought much chocolate for my sister, and my mum got souvenirs to have on her bookshell.
The next day went to more stores, there where so much beautiful statues, altar stuff, chrystal, so many cool books, clothes and cds. I so wished I had more money to buy stuff. I only bought a key chain with a pentagram and the text Goddesss blessings, a cup with a pentagram some leaves with the text i walk with The Goddess, two beautiful candleholders with pentagrams and leaves on it. After that i went to a store bought red roses that i put on The Goddesses altar in the Goddess temple as an offering. The temple was very beautiful, I loved it, and those priestess of Avalon that where there, where really nice. I bought some cards of the Goddesses a few poetry books that where very nice, a little bag of herbs that I could sprinkle around use as offerings. For some reason I had been so tensed and nervous that I wouldnt be accepted, that I would be cast out, be seen as unwelcome. It was all in vain of course. I had a terrible fight with a former friend that is a priestess of Avalon, but that was serveral years ago. It was absolutely no reason to see it that I would be unwelcome cause of that. I was just paranoid. My paranoya has been in the way for me many times but one doesnt realize until one has faced the fears, confronted the frears and paranoya. It was wonderful to pray and meditate there. After been there I went on for a long walk- a Goddess pilgrimage to The Lady of avalon, The Goddess, to sense the energies of Avalon, and nature. I walked the tour that went over the chalice hill and the Tor, said prayers at places of the route and meditated. At the end of the tour I went to the Chalice well, saw the white and red spring. it was very beautiful. I meditated and prayed, drank some water of the holy wells. I heard Morgana Le Fay talk to me then The Morrigan. I was reminded of some stuff, got some suggestions of stuff to do, thoughts of stuff got cleared up. That was awesome. I was so happy and a bit euphoric. I felt that I connected to the Earth Mother, Nature herself as well, that was awesome. Then I went back to the backpackers, my rooomate Linda talked about her ideas about stuff, life. I was so high that I gladly spoke about everything, she mentioned some stuff that freaked me out so I prayed to The Morrigan for protection and guidance, just incase if i may need it, it never hurts to have Her nearby.
On the wednesday i took two Goddess pilgrimages when I woke up, first the Morgen Mendering and Ariadnes labyrinth. That was a though one cause I had to walk very very much, and I got bit lost cause I looked wrong on the map. It was nice to connect to the Morgens and talk to Morgana Le Fay again and Arianrhod. I felt The Morrigans presence as well as Rhiannons although they where silent the first hours. It was a hard and long walk especial the Tor labryinth walk where I was walking around the Tor in circles. At times I was so tired, that I almost collapsed, but The Ladies encouraged me to go more and more, I really wanted to do it, so I did my best. Cause i wanted to get as much out of my trip as possible. When I was too tired I went on the main road, steps up to Tor, The Goddesses where okay with that. I think the important thing was that I did as much as I could, and went beyond my limits. I had much visions. Finally up at Tor I rested for a while, meditated a long time then I walked out of the labryinth I wasnt able to walk around the Tor the hill, but used the main road instead, my legs nearly broke, they refused to obey me, It felt like i fell apart. But kept walking and rested alot. Exhausted I came back and went straight to the Goddess temple. there I continued praying meditating most of all just resting. I felt so safe, so loved and cared for by the Goddesses. It felt like They though i had done well by walking as much as I did, done these three pilgrimages withing 24 hours. Just sit there pray meditate was soothing. Then I went back to the backpackers to rest. Linda came and wanted us to continue what we had done so far with the chrystals, healing talked and she some strange ideas that made me very uncomfortable. I wasnt up for it, I was too tired, I wanted to draw instead but she kept insisting. It was alright in the beginning but it felt very akward doing it, Even though I understood the intentions with it, I just didnt wanna continue after a few hours, she tried to make me do it anyway but after a while I just completely refused. It was very offending and annoying to hear that my faith was wrong, that it was dangerous to worship gods the way I did solitary etc. She went on and on about that, as well as about karma stuff, how much bad karma i had left. I was too exhausted to defend myself properply, so I just begged The Ladies to help me shield me, at some point I even got scared of Linda, what kind of a person was this? What did I know about her? Why did I tell her so much personal stuff? Could she harm me? Or was this just paranoya? Or did the Goddesses try to warn me? So many thoughts and questions but no answers. I was so exhausted, was happy when Linda left me alone.
The next day I was very drained and very panicy. I avoided Linda a bit, said that I couldnt handle talking more about karma and the other stuff. She just kept on talking about it anyway. That was very triggering so I prayed the Goddess rosary, to keep my mind focused and myself as calm as possible. I gave her back the stuff she had given me- some cheap coulorpens and a bag to have them with. It was like I didnt want anything from her, like I couldnt stand her. I got a feeling she may trace my energies, do something to me if I had stuff that was from her, by that not that it made any sense. Later on I went to the Goddess temple, I prayed much, shivered of fear and panic. I almost cried infront of the altar, it was like I didnt wanna leave the temple, not just that it was my last day there but that I was safe from Linda there. if she tried to do something shouldnt be able to get me there, My fears where very bad. I think it may just have been paranoid about Linda and I was too exhausted to see clear, cause it was a bit of an ordeal to do that much walking with The Goddess, pray, leave stuff behind, emotional and mental issues7stuff that no longer serves me. To sense the energies be changed, transformed. But that was okay cause I choose it, it was my goal all along to take these walks be changed, transformed healed there. It felt better to stay away from Linda. So I didnt asked for her emailaddress and she didnt ask for mine. I think she understood that she went too far, that things got out of our hands. it is possible she thinks she was helping me, so I thanked for that,(not that I think she helped me, I was more concerned that she may had damaged me but my protections shields was very strong, I just wanted to be polite, and it is possible that she tried to help me, and thought she did but just expressed herself in a way that I hard time handling, well who wouldnt feel offensive about what she said or did). I tried to explain her my point of view but she refused to get it. Well that is her problem. I think she has severe problems and would need a theraphyst. I shouldnt have agreed to work with chrystals talk about kamic stuff and personal stuff with a complete stranger, even if she did the same. Either way she cant harm me even if she was real psycic vampire or something, I am protected, I had a great time with The Goddesses, the walkings, and in the temple. I wont let an ignorant pushy person destroy my trip, my faith in the Ladies cant be destroyed. Cause what I feel, and experience is important to me,, then if it is bullshit to her, it is her opinion,not a truth of life. I do what is right for me. I just wish I had the strength to walk more, wasnt stopped by anything physical, mental limits. I hope I will be able to go there soon again.
I left around 5 pm to bristol, to take the train back to london. Late in the evening i checked in on Piccadilly backpackers in London, The next day friday I flew home. I got stopped in Gatwick airport they refused to let me take water from the chalice well with me. So I had to drink it there. I am happy that I didnt take a big bottle of the water with me. The flight went well, I bought much chocolate for my sister, and my mum got souvenirs to have on her bookshell.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-24 10:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-24 07:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-24 08:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-25 08:41 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-25 09:26 pm (UTC)