Reading and fantasies from the past

[camillanightshade]

I will start the sculpt class and astanga yoga class next week. It felt right, I should be able to afford it, there is also some others stuff that is needed like supplies.

I have been reading fiction books this week, a story about witches i read in my teen years and around 20´s. I sure see where I got my obession about some stuff. I had no idea those books had affected me like that. lol. I dont think these books are on other langueges then swedish and norwegian. It is about a people called the Ice-people which are cursed outlaws and have magical powers. My favorite charactar was a really cool witch named Sol Angelica. She is a bit dark but still kind. Aww when I read it earlier I so wanted to be her, be like her. I learned much from these books. They are a bit twisted. I have tried some of the stuff from the book- the witches flying ointments, I made those creams put it on me and focused on whom I wanted too see on the astralplane I remember I was too afraid to actually meet satan, so I focused on Michael instead of Lucifer lol. It felt so romantic and strange. It is a bit silly. Especially since the author calls this Satan-Lucifer for Apollyon, Astrat, Belial which are other names Apollo, Astarte and Bel. Bel is an cananitian God. I wasnt pagan when I read the books earlier-so it was cool and scary. These days I know these Gods are pagan Gods not demons. So I am not impressed or scared. The books are still good, much magic and the eternal battle against the evil and the good ones who are seen as evil, The bad ones are sometimes other rightous christians who wanna burn witches, ans other bad people, demons. Although they have nice demons and the bad ones. The authour doesnt know much about nature spirits and such and then call it demons. Which is offending. It gives good information about some herbs and spells but it is a bit like everything that isnt accepted in the christian church is demonic. So it isnt especially enlightened. If one look pass that and just focus on the story-the witches their lives, the adventures it is a great story. In the long run, it gets a bit boring cause I have grown so much since I read it. But it was fun and entertaining especially since I have had awful headaches and felt pressure around my throat chakra which made it hard for me to focus.

It is very silly, I have fantasized alot about these books, thought about the charactars as well as on Lucifer in the past. Which tend to both amuse me and scare the shit out of me. As I read it I saw the fantazies infront of me, I saw myself as the loney girl with no friends but the books and her own imaginations. I feel pity for that girl I once was. I have fantasied about other books I have read as well in those years. Especially a few newage books about channelings from some gods. I imagined myself to be forced to channeling write books about it. A few years later I practised witch craft and forgotten all about it. It took a few years before I met The Goddesses. Since I got a bit obsessed about these fantasies, they seem to be a reality. I couldnt deal with it, so I buried it deep within me.

Now so many years after that, when I can see more healthy on it, see what is from the books, what is from some gods what is from me how it effected me. I feel liberated in some ways.

Comments

[jensurvivor]

cool. I was also a solitary reading girl ;)
I've also thought about putting together some flying ointment, just for fun, but I react so badly to other drugs I will probably never do it.

[camillanightshade]

Cool :)

I see, that is too bad get sick of it. Yeah one do get much headache and nauses for a couple of days. I have a recipe on flying ointment with essential oils as well.

[jensurvivor]

I think I would get more than headache and nausea from absorbing datura through mucous membranes. Even stable people might never recover.

[camillanightshade]

Yeah, I wouldnt recommend it. It is dangerous stuff. I have used only the Black Nightshade and Belladonna as well. It is safe and better to use a mugworth brev and make some cream which contains mugworth, calendula, cinnamoon but it can get very itchy, cause the herbs can be strong for the skin.

[jensurvivor]

by "use" do you mean "eat"?

[camillanightshade]

I have dranked it, but meant have it in creames, burn the herbs, smell it, touch it.

[jensurvivor]

with black nightshade and belladonna? How did that go?

[camillanightshade]

I was high. I had awesome visions, very cool. A side affect what that I open a portal tothe other side, for months I could see and hear all kinds of stuff from time to time. Until i learned to shut the portal, ground and center. I got addicted to use it, it was hard to see any joy in the daily life.