(no subject)

[camillanightshade]

I have been asked to channel Cernunnus, I agreed to do under two conditions I would ge my freeom(never ever see him, come to him or he comes me) or I would get serveral paintings sold I would then channel after getting the paintings sold. Cernunnus didnt agree to any of them as expected. He just seem to think I should do as He said cause it would help me. Keep in mind he see the awful channeling got from Him through Cameron afew years ago helped me as well. It didnt it nearly destroyed me, and He thinks I am this stupid that I wouid put myself in that risk of being that harmed again. The Gods demands just gets worse. There is a third way but The Morrigan and Morgana will never allow that. I understand them, but why, why do I always have to give in do what the gods wants. Cernunnus will keep pressuring and pushing me about this and my life will gets worser. I want my freedom away from Cernnunnus.

Comments

[jensurvivor]

I'm glad He was honest about what He would and would not do, and I'm glad you were true to your limits. WHy do you think you give in to what the gods want?

[camillanightshade]

Well when i disagree with gods, i usually change My mind and do as they want. Cause they are gods and knows better then me. Sometimes it feels expected to do it. Those times i feel much pressure in doing it. Which makes me feel like i give in. I should stand my ground more

[jensurvivor]

You always regret it when you do, and the sorts of gods we serve are the sort to appreciate someone with a backbone I think.

[camillanightshade]

I agree with that. The voices gets so much worse, and the anxiety and panicattacks gets unbearable. But that has stopped me far too long. Now i dont have à job somewhere i need to be each day, so it may get easier to handle it if i more sick