Sickleave again

[camillanightshade]

I am been feeling almost psycotic the past months. Been so stressed out pressurred that working and being social have been very hard with some people who dont get me. I do my best to remain friendly, listen and care. It is better now that I am not working. I am having a sickleave until 10 march which is great. Cause I couldnt take it more at work, my boss´s attitude, and be around people all day. Everything made strssed out and filled with rage or panicanxiety that was gettíng harder and harder to hide. I wasnt able to handle anything I felt, people around me being so needy, annoying, critizising. I know some friends tried to support me but I was unable recieve it. Travel with bus so much is annoying cauzse of all people, I know I sound awful. I am sorry about that. i dont hate people I just dont feel well enough to be around others. I just didnt care to keep up the charade be be normal, I was just so crushed of my boss nasty ways, stuff in life, the debt thing. Not being able to recieve support and understand for my needs made so pissed, so angry it was hard to not do some evil stuff.

To be believed and supported by my theraphyst and doctors made me feel a bit better. I am still sleeping way too much, so exhausted but it will pass soon. I will exercise and do much yoga. I havent done any of it since november. I much get back on that I know I need It. Now without a job for three weeks there is no excuses I need to on getting healthier. This time I could avert an psycosis, loosing all controle but next time I may not be so lucky.

Comments

[jensurvivor]

It's easy to project things onto strangers when one is down, I know I do it sometimes. Maybe when spring comes it'll be easier.

[camillanightshade]

Yeah it will be, it usually does, I am glad I am not the only one that does it.