(no subject)

I was at the hills of Brosarp at sunday, my anxiety and panic has become so bad the past weeks that I loose sense of reality for a few seconds that become minutes ehen it is as worst. That scares the crap out of me. I have posted about this before I think. I am unable to let go of images and fantasies both positive as well as negative stuff. It does help getting away from the city, be alone in the woods with Her, The Goddesses. I feel burned out. It is only 5 times of yoga left for the crown chakra, so it would probably ease a bit after that. I am very tired, would a weeks vacation, take a few days off, just rest do my own stuff, but my boss wont allow that  so i keep on working. Hoping that I wont crash one day, that I will get strolnger. I could call in sick, if it gets too bad i will do that. On the other hand I think I have passed that phase already. But it usually gets better after the new year, cause even if i like christmas, baking, christmas parties it takes much energy, energy that i dont have.  And I celebrate winter solstice/yule which is fun. Can be a bit frustrating to be this exhausted all the time cause i wanna do much more then i have energy for. Being this exhausted it is harder to be around other people. But I will make it.