Bought a new book

http://www.amazon.com/Celtic-Lore-Spellcraft-Ddark-Goddess/dp/0738727679 that book is awesome has a good description on different aspects of the Morrigan like Babd, Nemain, Anamnd, as well as on Anu, Danu, Macha, Aine and Morgan Le Fay, spells, meditations, rituals. It is a book in my taste.  It looks The Lady made me come back totally.

Not that I was really gone but I had thoughts when I am all alone about stuff, other gods. Cause it is hard to handle life after the channeling from Cernunnus from last summer. He completly broke me down. It doesnt matter if He will come again or not, the damage is done.  The pain is bad at times, especially this winter. I need something to focus on, something to live for. Since everything causes me anxiety, it takes much energy to get anything done. It feels like that book can help me a bit atleast come back to magic and the Goddesses. It feels like I am drifting apart. It is so dark here, as I have told you before darkness is for me eternal depression, misery, tormenting no light or hope ever. Cernunnus described it well in the channeling last summer. I dont seem to be able to get over it. Maybe with more magic practise I can start to live again, feel better. I have felt much bitterness and betrayed by the Ladies cause they didnt take my side in this, meaning I felt They should attacked Him, beaten Him for giving me such a cruel  channeling that has ruined my life. It rules my life. I am obessed about it. And yes I know it is silly to think that the Goddesses would punish Cernunnus for some channeling just cause it broke my spirit. I need to forget it. Get over it. Stop dwelling in darkness negativity, let some cruel channeling be the truth of my life, anymore. I need to stand up for myself. Do what is good for me. I think this book and other spells can help me.